A “do-instead” list is a short, written menu of activities you can reach for when evenings and weekends trigger habits you’d like to change, such as grazing, mindless scrolling or staying up too late. It works because it removes the decision in the moment: instead of “I shouldn’t snack,” you already know what you’ll do. Below is a step-by-step way to build one, organized like a menu, with separate options for weeknights and weekends.
Why replacing works better than resisting
Telling yourself “don’t” leaves an empty space, and old habits rush in to fill it. Replacing a habit gives that time and energy somewhere to go. Mayo Clinic’s advice on gaining control of emotional eating makes the same point: instead of snacking when you’re not hungry, distract yourself and substitute a healthier behaviour, such as taking a walk, playing with a pet, listening to music, reading or calling a friend.
Step 1: Spot your current patterns
For a few evenings and one weekend, notice what happens in the gaps. Jot down:
- When: right after dinner, 9 to 11 pm, Saturday afternoon, Sunday evening?
- What you do: snack, scroll, watch “one more episode,” wander the kitchen?
- How you feel just before: bored, tired, lonely, wound up, celebrating?
- What you actually need: rest, connection, fun, a sense of accomplishment?
That last question is the key. A good replacement meets the same need the old habit was meeting. If you want to dig deeper into timing, a 7-day craving observation grid can show your highest-risk hours.
Step 2: Build your menu
Organizing your list like a menu makes it easy to choose based on how much time and energy you have.
Appetizers: quick boosts (2 to 10 minutes)
- Step outside and look at the sky
- Play two favourite songs and move to them
- Text someone you’ve been thinking about
- Stretch on the floor
- Water your plants or tidy one surface
- Make a mug of herbal tea or hot chocolate and drink it slowly
Main courses: deeper recharge (30 to 90 minutes)
- Walk with a family member, friend or neighbour
- Read a chapter of a book
- Work on a hobby: knitting, drawing, woodworking, an instrument, a puzzle
- Cook something for tomorrow or for someone else
- Call a relative for a proper catch-up
- A long bath with music or an audiobook
Side dishes: pair with something you’re already doing
- Listen to a podcast while folding laundry
- Call a friend while walking
- Stretch while a show plays, and keep your hands busy
Specials: weekend and occasional options
- A hike, bike ride or new trail
- Visit a library, museum, market or garden
- A game night with family or friends
- Volunteer for a morning
- A day trip somewhere you haven’t been
The NHS advice on how to be happier supports this kind of list: doing things you enjoy, or things you’re good at, is good for emotional wellbeing, while things that feel enjoyable in the moment but leave you feeling worse afterward are worth avoiding.
Step 3: Make it personal
The list only works if the items genuinely appeal to you. Test each one: “Would I actually want to do this at 8:30 pm on a tired Tuesday?” If the answer is no, cut it. Aim for:
- At least five appetizers that need no planning
- Three or four main courses
- Two or three weekend specials to plan ahead
Step 4: Make it easy to use
- Post it where the old habit happens: inside a kitchen cabinet, on the fridge, beside the couch.
- Keep a copy as your phone’s lock screen or a pinned note.
- Set up supplies in advance: book on the couch, walking shoes by the door, a puzzle on the table.
- When you feel stuck, pick the first item that appeals. Don’t overthink it.
Step 5: Build a calming evening wind-down
Late evenings are a common time for snacking and scrolling, and they also affect your sleep. The NHS Every Mind Matters guide on sleeping better recommends a regular sleep routine, going to bed and getting up at similar times even on days off, and avoiding phones, tablets and computers for an hour before bed. It suggests relaxing activities such as reading, meditation, breathing exercises or calming music instead.
A simple wind-down from your list might look like this:
- After dinner: close the kitchen. Wipe the counter, turn off the light.
- Early evening: one main-course activity (walk, hobby, call).
- One hour before bed: screens off; herbal tea, a book or a bath.
- Lights out: a few minutes of slow breathing.
Step 6: Plan weekends so they don’t drift
Unstructured weekends often mean grazing, late nights and sleeping in, which can leave Monday feeling rough. Keep a loose structure:
- Choose one “special” activity for Saturday and one for Sunday.
- Keep wake-up and bedtime fairly close to your weekday times, as the NHS sleep guidance suggests.
- Plan meals and snacks so you aren’t relying on whatever’s in the pantry.
- Leave some unscheduled time, but have your appetizer list ready for it.
Step 7: Refresh the list
Every month or so, look at your list. Cross off anything you keep skipping. Add new ideas you’ve seen or enjoyed. Seasonal changes help too: winter walks, summer evening bike rides, a holiday craft project. You can also pair this with a non-food rewards system so good weeks get celebrated in ways that support your goals.
When to check with a professional
If evening eating feels out of your control, you often eat large amounts in secret, or you feel strong guilt afterward, please talk to a healthcare provider. In Canada, NEDIC offers a free helpline and live chat. Persistent trouble sleeping is also worth raising with your doctor.
Quick takeaways
- Replace, don’t just resist: write down what you’ll do instead.
- Match each replacement to the need behind the habit (rest, connection, fun, accomplishment).
- Organize your list as appetizers, mains, sides and specials.
- Keep it visible and set up supplies in advance.
- Protect your wind-down: screens off an hour before bed, similar sleep times every day.
FAQ
What if I’m too tired to do anything on the list?
That’s what the appetizer section is for. Pick the easiest item, such as stepping outside or making a herbal tea. If you are often too tired in the evening, an earlier bedtime may be the best “do-instead” of all.
Can watching TV be on my list?
Yes, if you choose it on purpose and set a limit, such as one episode. Pairing it with something for your hands, like stretching or a craft, helps break the link with snacking.
How many items should my list have?
About 10 to 15 is enough. Too many choices can make deciding harder, so keep the ones you actually use.