We all want to feel good about ourselves, right? But sometimes, that feeling seems to depend on big achievements or external praise. What if I told you that building genuine self-respect is more about the small, everyday things? It’s about creating trust with yourself through simple, repeatable actions. These aren’t grand gestures; they’re quiet rituals that, over time, help you believe in yourself. Think of them as daily deposits into your self-trust bank account. This article explores how these self-respect rituals can become your secret weapon for a more grounded and confident life.
Key Takeaways
- Start your day with small wins, like drinking water or making your bed, to build momentum and signal to yourself that you can accomplish things.
- Practice grounding techniques, such as deep breathing or noticing physical sensations, to anchor yourself in the present moment and reduce anxiety.
- Challenge your inner critic by reframing negative thoughts with self-compassion, treating yourself like you would a good friend.
- Build self-efficacy by making and keeping small promises to yourself, creating a track record of reliability that strengthens your internal trust.
- Incorporate short periods of voluntary discomfort, like a cold shower burst, to build resilience and prove to yourself that you can handle challenges.
Cultivating Inner Trust Through Daily Self-Respect Rituals
The Foundation of Self-Esteem
Self-esteem isn’t something you’re just born with or without. It’s built, brick by brick, through the small, consistent actions you take each day. Think of it like building a muscle; you wouldn’t expect to lift heavy weights on day one. Instead, you start with lighter loads and gradually increase the challenge. Similarly, self-trust, the bedrock of self-esteem, is cultivated through daily practices that show you, reliably, that you can count on yourself. It’s about proving to yourself, in quiet moments, that your needs matter and that you are capable of meeting them.
From Inner Critic to Compassionate Coach
Many of us carry around an inner voice that’s quick to point out flaws and mistakes. This voice, often a leftover from past experiences, can feel like it’s keeping us accountable, but it usually just breeds anxiety and self-doubt. The goal isn’t to silence this critic entirely, but to transform its tone. Imagine shifting from a harsh drill sergeant to a supportive coach. This coach acknowledges the difficulty, believes in your ability to learn, and offers encouragement rather than condemnation. It’s about recognizing that mistakes are part of the process, not a reflection of your worth.
The Power of Consistent Practice
Consistency is key. It’s not about grand gestures or overnight transformations. It’s about the small, repeatable actions that, over time, create a profound shift. These daily rituals act as gentle reminders that you are worthy of your own attention and care. They build momentum, creating a positive feedback loop where small successes lead to greater confidence and a stronger sense of self-trust. The cumulative effect of these practices is what truly builds a resilient and positive self-regard.
The most effective way to build self-trust is by consistently honoring the small commitments you make to yourself. These aren’t about achieving perfection, but about demonstrating reliability to your own inner world.
Morning Rituals for a Grounded Start
Waking up can feel like being thrown into the deep end of the day. Before the emails pile up or the to-do list starts shouting, setting a calm tone can make a huge difference. These morning rituals aren’t about adding more to your plate; they’re about creating a small, personal buffer zone that helps you feel more in control and ready for whatever comes your way. Think of them as tiny acts of self-respect that build trust with yourself right from the start.
The Ninety-Second Win Streak
This is about getting a quick win before your brain even has time to talk you out of it. It’s incredibly simple: as soon as you get out of bed, do three small, easy things in a row. Maybe it’s opening the curtains, making your bed, and drinking a glass of water. Or perhaps it’s doing five quick stretches, taking three deep breaths, and then putting on your workout clothes. The key is that they are achievable and done consecutively. This isn’t about perfection; it’s about signaling to your nervous system that you can take action and complete tasks. These small successes, done consistently, build a quiet confidence that you can handle things.
Mindful Hydration and Movement
Starting your day with water is a simple yet powerful way to rehydrate your body after sleep. Beyond just quenching thirst, it’s an opportunity to be present. Notice the temperature of the water, how it feels as it goes down. You can add lemon or a slice of cucumber for a little extra something. Pairing this with gentle movement, like a few stretches or a short walk, helps wake up your body and mind. It doesn’t need to be an intense workout; even five minutes of mindful movement can help you feel more connected to yourself and ready to engage with the day.
Setting Intentions for the Day
Before diving into the day’s demands, take a moment to decide what you want your day to feel like or what you want to focus on. This isn’t about creating a rigid schedule, but rather a gentle direction. You might ask yourself: What’s one thing I want to accomplish today? How do I want to approach challenges? Or simply, what’s one quality I want to embody, like patience or focus? Writing this down, even just a single sentence, can act as a quiet guide. It’s a way of taking the reins, however briefly, and steering your day with purpose rather than just reacting to whatever comes up.
Anchoring Yourself in the Present Moment
Life moves fast, and it’s easy to get swept away by worries about the future or regrets about the past. Anchoring yourself in the present is a way to reclaim your focus and build a stronger sense of self-trust. It’s about connecting with what’s happening right now, using your body and your breath as reliable guides.
Grounding Through Physical Sensations
Sometimes, when things feel overwhelming, our minds race. A simple way to pull yourself back is to pay attention to what your body is actually feeling. This isn’t about judging the sensations, just noticing them. Think about the feeling of your feet on the floor, the texture of your clothes against your skin, or the temperature of the air around you. These physical anchors remind you that you are here, right now.
- Feel your feet: Notice the pressure where they meet the ground. Wiggle your toes. This simple act connects you to the earth.
- Touch something: Run your hand over a nearby surface – a table, your desk, even your own arm. What does it feel like? Smooth, rough, warm, cool?
- Notice your posture: Are you slouched or upright? Gently adjust your spine. Feel the support beneath you.
The Affirmation of Self-Worth
Words have power, especially the words we say to ourselves. When you feel your confidence waver, a simple affirmation can act as a reminder of your inherent value. It’s not about convincing yourself of something untrue, but about stating a truth that might be getting lost in the noise.
Repeating a simple, positive statement can help quiet the inner critic and reinforce a sense of capability. It’s like giving yourself a gentle nod of approval.
Try this: Place your hand over your heart. Take a slow breath. Silently or softly say, "I am capable, and I am enough, right now." Do this a few times. It’s a small act, but it’s a direct communication of care to yourself.
Breathing as an Anchor
Your breath is always with you, a constant, rhythmic presence. Using your breath intentionally can be a powerful tool for staying grounded. When you’re feeling stressed or scattered, consciously slowing down your exhale can signal to your body that it’s safe to relax.
Here’s a simple technique:
- Find a comfortable position: Sit or stand tall, but relaxed.
- Inhale gently: Breathe in through your nose for a count of four.
- Exhale slowly: Breathe out through your mouth or nose for a count of six to eight.
- Repeat: Do this for just one minute.
This practice helps regulate your nervous system, bringing a sense of calm without needing to change your external circumstances. It’s a private reset button you can press anytime, anywhere.
Transforming Harsh Self-Talk
That voice in your head can be pretty rough sometimes, can’t it? It’s the one that jumps on every mistake, points out every flaw, and generally makes you feel like you’re not quite measuring up. It often sounds like a harsh critic, but sometimes, it’s just a misguided attempt to keep you safe or motivated by fear. The problem is, this kind of talk doesn’t actually help us grow; it just makes us feel bad and less confident.
Recognizing the Inner Critic
This inner critic isn’t some external enemy; it’s a part of your own thought process. It might sound like a parent, a teacher, or even a past bully. You might hear phrases like "I always mess this up" or "I’m not good enough." It often shows up when you’re feeling stressed, tired, or facing a challenge. It’s important to notice when this voice pipes up and what it’s saying. It’s not about judging yourself for having these thoughts, but simply observing them.
- Common Critic Phrases:
- "I’m so stupid."
- "Why can’t I ever get this right?"
- "Everyone else is doing better."
- "I’ll never be able to handle this."
The Compassionate Reframe Technique
Once you recognize the inner critic, the next step is to gently challenge it. Think about how you would speak to a friend who was going through the same thing. Would you be harsh and judgmental, or would you offer kindness and understanding? The compassionate reframe technique involves taking those critical thoughts and rewriting them with a kinder, more balanced perspective. It’s not about pretending everything is perfect, but about acknowledging the reality of the situation with more empathy.
For example, if the critic says, "I failed that presentation," a compassionate reframe might be: "That presentation didn’t go as well as I hoped, and that’s okay. I learned some things I can use next time."
Rewriting Negative Thought Patterns
Changing deeply ingrained negative thought patterns takes practice. It’s like training a muscle. The more you consciously choose to respond to yourself with kindness, the weaker the critical voice becomes, and the stronger your self-compassion grows. This isn’t about suppressing negative thoughts, but about not letting them dictate your self-worth. It’s about building a new habit of internal dialogue that supports you rather than tears you down.
Shifting from harsh self-talk to self-compassion isn’t about being weak; it’s about being wise. It’s recognizing that kindness is a more effective motivator than criticism for long-term growth and well-being.
Here’s a simple way to practice:
- Notice: Become aware when the critical voice appears.
- Pause: Take a breath before reacting.
- Question: Ask yourself, "Is this thought helpful? Is it true? How would I speak to a friend?"
- Reframe: Replace the critical thought with a kinder, more balanced one.
- Repeat: Keep practicing, even when it feels awkward at first.
Building Self-Efficacy with Micro-Promises
Confidence isn’t some magical trait you’re either born with or not. It’s built, brick by tiny brick, through actions that prove to yourself you can follow through. This is where "micro-promises" come in. Think of them as small, everyday commitments you make to yourself and then, crucially, keep. They’re not about grand gestures; they’re about the quiet consistency that builds internal trust.
The Significance of Small Commitments
We often overlook the power of small wins. When you set out to achieve something big, it can feel overwhelming. But what if you broke it down? Making your bed, drinking a glass of water first thing, or taking five minutes to stretch – these are all "micro-promises." Each time you complete one, you send a signal to your brain: "I said I’d do it, and I did it." This creates a tiny, but important, sense of mastery. It’s like a mini-workout for your self-trust muscles. Over time, these small successes accumulate, making you feel more capable of handling larger challenges.
Creating Momentum Through Completion
It’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of starting things and not finishing them. This can leave you feeling defeated and less confident. Micro-promises offer a way out. By focusing on tasks that are easily completable, you create a streak of successes. This momentum is powerful. Imagine starting your day with three small wins before you even check your phone. This isn’t about being productive for productivity’s sake; it’s about building a positive feedback loop. Each completed promise fuels the next, making it easier to tackle more demanding tasks later on. It’s about proving to yourself, in small, manageable ways, that you are a person who gets things done.
Tracking and Honoring Your Word
To really build self-efficacy, you need to acknowledge your efforts. This means not just making the promise, but also noticing when you’ve kept it. You could keep a simple list or journal. When you complete a micro-promise, jot it down. At the end of the day or week, take a moment to review these small victories. This act of tracking and honoring your word reinforces the positive behavior. It’s a way of saying, "I see you, and I appreciate you for showing up for yourself." This conscious acknowledgment is what transforms a simple action into a confidence-building ritual.
Here’s a simple way to start:
- Morning Streak: Choose 2-3 very small actions to complete immediately after waking (e.g., drink water, make bed, open curtains).
- Midday Check-in: Commit to one small act of self-care during your workday (e.g., a 5-minute walk, a mindful breathing exercise).
- Evening Acknowledgment: Before bed, identify one micro-promise you kept and briefly reflect on how it felt.
The consistent fulfillment of these small commitments acts as a powerful antidote to self-doubt. It’s not about the size of the promise, but the reliability of your follow-through. Each kept promise is a data point that builds a case for your own competence and trustworthiness.
The Role of Voluntary Discomfort
It sounds a bit backward, doesn’t it? To build self-respect, we should intentionally make things a little harder for ourselves? But think about it: when you deliberately step into a situation that’s slightly uncomfortable, you’re proving something to yourself. You’re showing yourself that you can handle a bit of tension, that you’re not going to fall apart when things aren’t perfectly smooth. This builds a quiet confidence that’s hard to shake.
Embracing Short Bursts of Challenge
This isn’t about seeking out extreme hardship. It’s about finding small, manageable ways to push your comfort zone just a little each day. Think about finishing your shower with a 30-second blast of cold water, or holding a plank for an extra minute. These aren’t monumental tasks, but they are moments where you consciously choose to do something that feels a bit tough. The key is that you do it willingly, and you stay present through it. It’s a way to practice being okay with a little bit of stress, proving to yourself that you’re more resilient than you might think.
Generalizing Resilience from Small Feats
When you consistently engage in these small acts of voluntary discomfort, something interesting happens. Your brain starts to connect these experiences. That moment you pushed through the cold shower or held that plank a little longer? Your mind registers that as proof. It’s like building up a mental muscle. Over time, this practice helps you generalize that feeling of capability. So, when a bigger challenge comes along – a difficult conversation, a demanding project, or an unexpected setback – you have a reservoir of evidence that says, ‘I’ve handled tough things before, and I can do it again.’ It’s not about being fearless; it’s about knowing you can act even when you feel a bit uneasy.
Alternative Practices for Discomfort
Not everyone is going to enjoy a cold shower, and that’s perfectly fine. The principle of voluntary discomfort is flexible. The goal is to find what works for you. Maybe it’s postponing checking your phone for the first 15 minutes after waking up, or choosing to walk up a small hill at the end of your usual run. Perhaps it’s making that phone call you’ve been putting off, or dedicating five minutes to a task you’ve been avoiding. The specific activity matters less than the act of choosing to do something that requires a little effort or pushes past a mild hesitation. It’s about building a consistent pattern of showing up for yourself, even when it’s not the easiest path.
Evening Reflection for Self-Acknowledgment
As the day winds down, taking a moment to look back isn’t about dwelling on what went wrong. It’s about actively recognizing the small victories and the moments you showed up for yourself. This practice helps shift your internal narrative from one of constant critique to one of appreciation and trust. It’s a quiet way to tell yourself, ‘I see you, and I acknowledge your effort.’
Reviewing Daily Accomplishments
Think about the tasks you completed, no matter how minor they seem. Did you finish that report? Respond to an important email? Even something as simple as making your bed or preparing a healthy meal counts. List them out. Seeing them written down provides tangible proof of your capabilities and your commitment to moving forward.
- Task Completion: Note down any work-related or personal tasks you finished.
- Effort Acknowledgment: Recognize instances where you put in significant effort, even if the outcome wasn’t perfect.
- Small Wins: Celebrate the little things, like sticking to a healthy habit or making a difficult phone call.
Honoring Boundaries and Self-Care
This is where you acknowledge the times you protected your energy and well-being. Did you say ‘no’ to something that would have overextended you? Did you take a break when you needed one? Did you prioritize rest or a calming activity? These acts are not selfish; they are necessary for maintaining your internal balance and showing yourself respect.
Setting and holding boundaries is a direct act of self-respect. It communicates to yourself and others that your needs and well-being are important and deserve protection. Each time you honor a boundary, you reinforce your internal trust and build a stronger sense of self-worth.
Shifting Focus from Criticism to Appreciation
Instead of replaying mistakes or perceived failures, consciously redirect your attention. Ask yourself: What is one thing I did today that I can appreciate about myself? What moment showed me I’m capable of handling things? This isn’t about ignoring challenges, but about balancing your perspective. It’s about building a reservoir of positive self-regard that can support you through tougher times. This practice trains your brain to look for the good, fostering a more optimistic and self-accepting outlook.
Integrating Rituals into a Busy Schedule
Life gets hectic, right? It feels like there’s always something demanding your attention, and fitting in self-care can seem like a luxury you just can’t afford. But here’s the thing: self-respect rituals aren’t about adding more to your plate; they’re about making the time you do have work better for you. It’s about finding those small pockets of time and making them count.
Prioritizing Self-Care Amidst Demands
When your schedule is packed, the first thing to go is often taking care of yourself. It feels counterintuitive, but making self-care a priority actually makes you more capable of handling those demands. Think of it like charging your phone – you can’t expect it to run all day if you never plug it in. The same goes for you.
- Start small: Don’t aim for an hour-long meditation if you only have five minutes. A 90-second win streak, as mentioned earlier, is a perfect starting point.
- Bundle activities: Can you listen to a podcast on self-compassion while you commute or do chores? Can you practice mindful breathing while waiting in line?
- Schedule it: If it’s not in your calendar, it’s less likely to happen. Treat your self-care time like any other important appointment.
Adapting Rituals to Your Lifestyle
What works for one person might not work for another, especially when life circumstances differ. The key is flexibility and a willingness to adjust. If a morning ritual feels impossible because you’re rushing out the door, maybe an evening ritual is a better fit. Or perhaps a midday reset is more realistic.
Consider these points:
- Identify your energy peaks and troughs: When do you naturally have a bit more mental or physical energy? Schedule your rituals then.
- Be realistic about time: If you have 15 minutes, plan a 15-minute ritual, not a 60-minute one.
- Focus on consistency over duration: A short, consistent practice is far more effective than an infrequent, long one.
The Cumulative Effect of Small Actions
It’s easy to dismiss small acts of self-respect as insignificant, especially when you’re facing big challenges. But these small actions build on each other. Each time you honor a commitment to yourself, no matter how minor, you strengthen your internal trust. It’s like building a muscle; you don’t get strong from one workout, but from consistent effort over time.
The real magic happens not in grand gestures, but in the quiet, consistent practice of showing up for yourself, day after day. These small acts create a powerful ripple effect, gradually transforming how you feel about yourself and your capabilities.
Think about it this way:
| Ritual Type | Daily Time Commitment | Potential Impact |
|---|---|---|
| Mindful Hydration | 2 minutes | Increased energy, better focus |
| Deep Breathing | 1 minute | Reduced stress, improved emotional regulation |
| Gratitude Journal | 3 minutes | Shifted perspective, increased positivity |
| Short Walk | 10 minutes | Mood boost, physical well-being |
When you string these small wins together, you’re not just completing tasks; you’re actively building a foundation of self-trust that can weather any storm. The most effective rituals are the ones you can actually stick with.
The Science Behind Self-Respect Rituals
It’s easy to think of self-respect as some big, abstract idea, but it actually has some pretty solid roots in how our brains and bodies work. Turns out, those small daily acts we’re talking about aren’t just feel-good fluff; they’re tapping into real psychological and physiological processes that build up our internal sense of trust and capability.
Mastery Experiences and Self-Efficacy
Think about when you learn a new skill, like riding a bike or playing a simple song on an instrument. Each time you manage to do it, even a little bit, you get a tiny boost. In psychology, these are called mastery experiences. They’re direct proofs that you can achieve something. Albert Bandura, a well-known psychologist, talked a lot about self-efficacy, which is basically your belief in your own ability to succeed in specific situations or accomplish a task. The more small wins you collect through consistent practice – like making your bed every morning or finishing a short workout – the more your self-efficacy grows. It’s like building a case file for your brain that says, “See? I can do things.”
Autonomic Regulation and Nervous System Reset
Our nervous system is constantly reacting to the world, sometimes putting us in a state of alert or stress without us even realizing it. Rituals can act like a gentle reset button. Simple things like deep breathing exercises or taking a cold shower for a short burst can actually influence your autonomic nervous system. This system controls involuntary functions like heart rate and digestion. By intentionally engaging in practices that calm or stimulate your system in a controlled way, you’re teaching your body to regulate itself better. This can lead to feeling less overwhelmed and more in control, even when things get tough.
The Impact of Posture on Mood
It sounds almost too simple, but the way you hold your body can actually affect how you feel. Research has shown that adopting a more open, upright posture – shoulders back, chest open – can lead to increased feelings of confidence and a reduction in stress hormones. Conversely, slouching can make you feel more down. Incorporating simple posture checks throughout the day, or even consciously standing tall for a minute, can be a small ritual that nudges your mood in a more positive direction. It’s a direct mind-body connection that’s surprisingly effective.
Here’s a quick look at how some simple rituals can impact your system:
- Morning Routine (e.g., 90-second win streak): Starts the day with a sense of accomplishment, boosting self-efficacy.
- Mindful Breathing: Activates the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting calm and reducing stress.
- Cold Shower Burst: Briefly stimulates the sympathetic nervous system, increasing alertness, followed by a rebound effect that can improve mood.
- Posture Check: Can influence hormone levels and subjective feelings of confidence.
These scientific underpinnings show that self-respect isn’t just a feeling; it’s a skill built through consistent, intentional action. By understanding the ‘why’ behind these practices, we can approach them with more conviction and see their cumulative power.
Nurturing Self-Trust Through Mindful Practices
Sometimes, the most powerful way to build trust with yourself isn’t through grand gestures, but through quiet, consistent attention to your inner world and physical being. Mindful practices help you connect with yourself on a deeper level, creating a stable foundation for self-respect. It’s about showing up for yourself in small, deliberate ways that add up over time.
Somatic Awareness and Body Connection
Our bodies hold so much information, often more than our busy minds realize. Tuning into physical sensations can be a direct line to understanding your needs and feelings. When you feel stressed, where does it show up? A tight chest? A knot in your stomach? Simply noticing these sensations without judgment is the first step. Try this: pause for a moment and scan your body from head to toe. What do you feel? Is there tension? Warmth? A general sense of ease or unease? Acknowledging these physical cues is a form of self-respect, a way of saying, ‘I am paying attention to you.’
Mindful Eating and Intuitive Nourishment
How we eat can be a powerful ritual. It’s not just about fuel; it’s about how we treat ourselves. Mindful eating means paying attention to the experience of eating – the tastes, textures, and smells – and noticing your body’s hunger and fullness cues. This practice helps move away from rigid rules about food and towards a more intuitive, trusting relationship with your body’s signals. Instead of thinking, ‘I should eat this,’ try asking, ‘What does my body actually want and need right now?’ This shift can be incredibly freeing and builds trust that your body knows best.
The Power of Journaling and Reflection
Journaling offers a private space to process thoughts and feelings, acting as a consistent dialogue with yourself. It’s a place to acknowledge your efforts, big or small. You don’t need to write pages; even a few sentences can make a difference. Try this simple structure:
- One thing I accomplished today (no matter how small):
- A moment I felt present or connected:
- Something I’m grateful for about myself:
Regularly writing down your experiences and self-observations helps to solidify your sense of self and reinforces the idea that your inner life is worth paying attention to. It’s like creating a personal history book where you are the hero, acknowledging your journey and growth.
Building trust in yourself is key. Simple daily habits can make a big difference in how you feel about yourself. These practices help you connect with your inner voice and feel more confident. Ready to start feeling better about yourself? Visit our website to learn more and begin your journey.
Building Trust, One Day at a Time
So, we’ve talked about how small, consistent actions can really build up your trust in yourself. It’s not about huge leaps or dramatic changes. Think of it more like building a sturdy house, brick by brick. Each little promise you keep to yourself, whether it’s drinking that glass of water first thing or taking a moment to breathe, adds another layer of reliability. Over time, these daily rituals help quiet that inner critic, replacing harsh judgment with a more supportive voice. It’s about practicing self-compassion, showing up for yourself even when it’s tough, and learning to trust that you can handle whatever comes your way. This isn’t about becoming perfect; it’s about becoming more present, more capable, and more at peace with who you are, right now.
Frequently Asked Questions
What exactly are self-respect rituals?
Self-respect rituals are simple, everyday actions you do for yourself. Think of them as small promises you keep to yourself. Doing these things consistently helps you build trust from within, which is the core of feeling good about yourself.
Why are small actions like drinking water important?
Starting your day with something easy, like drinking water or making your bed, is like a quick win. It tells your brain and body that you can take action and finish tasks. These tiny successes add up, making you feel more capable and building your confidence.
How can I stop my inner critic from being so harsh?
When you notice that negative voice, pause and ask yourself if you’d say that to a friend. Then, try to change the thought to something kinder. Instead of ‘I messed up,’ try ‘I made a mistake, and that’s okay. I’m learning.’
What does ‘grounding’ mean in this context?
Grounding means connecting with the present moment using your body. It could be taking a few deep breaths, stretching, or simply noticing how your feet feel on the floor. It helps you feel safe and reminds you that you matter, right here, right now.
How do I build self-trust if I often break promises to myself?
Start with really small promises, like drinking a glass of water when you wake up or taking just one minute to stretch. When you keep these tiny promises, you prove to yourself that you can be relied upon. This builds trust over time, like adding bricks to a wall.
Is it really helpful to do something uncomfortable on purpose?
Yes, doing something a little uncomfortable, like ending your shower with a 30-second cold blast, can be surprisingly helpful. It teaches your body and mind that you can handle challenging feelings without falling apart. This builds resilience, making you stronger for bigger challenges.
How can I remember to do these rituals when I’m busy?
The key is to make them fit your life. Start with just one or two simple rituals. You can set reminders on your phone or link them to things you already do, like doing a quick stretch after brushing your teeth. Small, consistent actions are more effective than trying to do too much at once.
What’s the best way to end the day with self-respect?
At the end of the day, take a moment to think about what you did well or a time you were kind to yourself. It could be as simple as honoring a boundary or completing a small task. Writing this down helps you focus on your successes and appreciate yourself, rather than just criticizing.